"I'm Not a Loser" is a song written by They Might Be Giants. It appears in SpongeBob SquarePants: The Broadway Musical. In this showstopping eleven o'clock number, after the Electric Skates quit the show, they call Squidward a loser, but Squidward insists, through many double negatives, that he is not, and imagines he is joined by a sea anemone chorus and does a dazzling tap dance number.
Lyrics[]
- Squidward: I'm not a loser
- I don't secretly hate myself
- I'm not singing this to no one
- It's not the case that no one cares
- I'm not a failure
- I don't not have talent
- When others see me they can't see
- The nobody that isn't there
- Hold on, that's a triple negative. You can't not see nobody. Because I'm not nobody! Which can't not be seen. Let me start over.
- My life's not empty
- They don't not like me at all
- I don't not leave the house
- 'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home
- I don't stink
- I'm not a waste
- I'm not all alone in thinking
- That I am not all alone
- Maybe I am a loser.
- Sea Anemones: Hey, Squidward
- Squidward: Huh?
- Sea Anemones: You're not delirious with despair
- And you're not calling true things false
- Hey, Squidward
- Squidward: This is weird
- Sea Anemones: You're not hallucinating this sea anemone
- Chorus line at all
- Squidward: I'm not?
- Sea Anemones: You're not a loser
- You don't secretly hate yourself
- You're not singing this to no one
- It's not the case that no one cares
- Squidward: Okay!
- Sea Anemones: You're not a failure
- You don't not have talent
- When others see you they can't see
- The nobody that isn't there
- Squidward (Sea Anemones): I'm not a loser! (Not a loser)
- They don't not like me at all (No!)
- I don't not leave the house
- 'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home
- I don't stink (You don't stink)
- I'm not a waste (You're not a waste)
- I'm not all alone in thinking
- That I am not all alone
- Clarinet solo!
- (clarinet)
- Look at me now, Mama!
- (tap dance break)
- Squidward (Sea Anemones): I'm not a loser (You're not a loser)
- They don't not like me at all (No!)
- I don't not leave the house (leave the house)
- 'Cause I don't not prefer to stay at home
- (Yeah, yeah, stay at home!!!)
- Hey! Shh!
- I don't stink
- I'm not a waste
- I'm not all alone in thinking
- That I'm not, not, not all alone
Trivia[]
- On opening night on Broadway, this song received a long standing ovation, which was led by Rodger Bumpass, the voice of Squidward on the cartoon.