The episode starts as SpongeBob and Patrick walking to each other and then they start to play - the idea of their game is to holler at the vehicles that pass by, which angers Squidward and some of the people in the vehicles. Then Patrick falls Pat and asleep and when he wakes up he has a beard. Then Squidward passes by and offers to teach Patrick everything he knows about how to be mature which upsets SpongeBob. SpongeBob decides to follow them promising he will learn how to be mature as well. The three go into Squidward's house for a grown-up makeover. SpongeBob shows off his new look. Patrick likes his look until Squidward reminds him that he really shouldn't.
They then go to a restaurant, and Patrick and Squidward order some fettuccine while SpongeBob orders the milk and cookies.
Then they go to the art place and SpongeBob follows them around and Patrick and Squidward tell the security to kick him out and he first put him out softly, but he doesn't leave so he ends up kicking him. SpongeBob sees Squidward and Patrick walking and Squidward mentions that the beard was the best thing that ever happened to Patrick other than himself. SpongeBob tries to remove his beard to restore his friendship. Squidward stops him and says that they are through with him.
Then Squidward and Patrick go to the Opera House and they see a lady which is really SpongeBob singing opera which Patrick says "she's beautiful".
After SpongeBob sang opera to win Patrick back, Patrick begins to cry and sees the beard is really a sea urchin and the sea urchin woke up and ran away from Patrick. He chased it until SpongeBob says Patrick's name and he says "How do you know my name?" and he says that he is SpongeBob and they make up again then Squidward told all the guests that the show is horrible, but they disagree and threw food at him then the episode ends.
- ? [title card]
- ? - Sage Guyton, Jeremy Wakefield ["Good morning, Patrick."]
- Vibe Sting - Nicolas Carr [Patrick snoring]
- ? [SpongeBob pinches Patrick]
- ? [Patrick has a beard]
- ? ["Everybody knows that grownups never play with kids."]
- ? - Nicolas Carr [Hawaiian sting]
- ? ["Let me escort you to my place."]
- ? - Jeremy Wakefield [SpongeBob laughs]
- Gorgeous Girl - Kurt Schick [personal grooming]
- Little England - Paddy Kingsland [Bikini Bottom Men's Club]
- ? [SpongeBob dancing]
- Airs and Graces (a) - Paddy Kingsland [dinner]
- Thieving Magpie Overture - Gioacchino A. Rossini [art museum]
- ? - Jeremy Wakefield ["Security!"]
- Tympup A - Sammy Burdson, John Charles Fiddy [SpongeBob kicked out]
- ? - Nicolas Carr [SpongeBob kicked out]
- ? - Pat Irwin [Squidward, Patrick leave the museum]
- Danger Sign - Harry Bluestone, Emil Cadkin ["I must remove that beard."]
- Armed Attack - Jean Clero ["That's it! It must be done!"]
- ? - Pat Irwin [Squidward chews out SpongeBob]
- Steel Sting - Jeremy Wakefield ["You've only gone up three steps."]
- ? ["The famed Bikini Bottom Opera House!"]
- Dear Friend - Aaron Springer, Gary Stockdale [SpongeBob sings]
- ? - Jeremy Wakefield [Patrick cries]
- ? - Pat Irwin [sea urchin leaves]
- ? [audience cheers]
- ? [ending]
Home video releases
- SpongeBob SquarePants: The Complete 8th Season
- There was a promo for this episode when Sentimental Sponge aired but it didn't air then.
- This episode is part of SpongeBob's Summer of New Premieres.
- This episode was originally going to be called "Old Man Patrick" but it was changed to "Squidward's School for Grown-Ups".
- Ironically, one of the things thrown at Squidward was a pineapple.
- This is the fourth time in the series SpongeBob sings with a voice that is not his, the first time was in Ripped Pants, the second time was in Band Geeks and the third time was in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie.
- When Squidward taught Patrick how to act like a grown-up, it's similar to when Patrick taught SpongeBob how to act like one in Grandma's Kisses.
- This is the third title card to be on the chalkboard. The first time was New Student Starfish, the second time was Professor Squidward.
- In this episode, Squidward says that grown-ups should never play with children, give each other high fives or have fun. However, that's half true and half false. Adults will sometimes play with kids or give each other high fives. Also, they certainly do have fun.
- This is one of few episodes with Squidward's full name on the title card instead of "Squid."
- Note that when Squidward and Patrick were walking toward the Opera House Squidward changes clothing, from just a simple red bowtie and his regular brown shirt to a full on formal shirt, vest, purple bowtie, and jacket, it is possible that before that scene that Squidward went back to his house to change.
- This is the second time Patrick uses a lot of big words for nearly the entire episode. The first was in Patrick SmartPants.
- Running Gags: Squidward mumbling to himself, and SpongeBob and Patrick screaming by different vehicles.
- In Home Sweet Rubble, in Patrick's Dream office, two of his pictures from this episode can be seen on the walls.
- The paper that SpongeBob originally took out while on stage had the infamous "There once was a man from Nantucket" limerick, which is known for being very risqué.
- The sea urchin was much like a bush, and no one was afraid of it, unlike the urchins in Eek, An Urchin!
- Even though this episode was called Squidward's School for Grown-Ups, there was no schools featured in the full episode.
- However, it could be because Squidward was teaching Patrick.
- When SpongeBob smudged the painting, he blurred the "mildly nude" parts. The painting was also a parody of a painting called The Birth of Venus, but with fish instead of people.
- How the sea urchin didn't wake up after Patrick started crying is unknown.
- When Squidward and Patrick were walking to the concert, Squidward was wearing his brown shirt and a bow tie, but when the scene changed, Squidward was wearing a tuxedo.