"Squilliam Returns" is the second segment of the 48th episode of SpongeBob SquarePants.


On his lunch break, Squidward encounters Squilliam Fancyson with a group of his fans. Squilliam asks Squidward what he has "accomplished" since high school, Squidward, panicking, tells him that he owns a five-star restaurant. Squilliam tells Squidward that he and his friends will come to his restaurant that night, and Squidward is very shocked. He begs Mr. Krabs to let him have control of the Krusty Krab for the day, and when he explains that Squilliam's coming, Mr. Krabs accepts because he knows that Squilliam has money (though this is only faintly implied).

Squidward attempts to train his employees to turn the Krusty Krab into a fancy restaurant, including Patrick, who thought that he was joining the corps and is given the job of collecting the hats. SpongeBob, who doesn't yet know how a waiter workers, is the waiter, and Mr. Krabs, who says he once served on the S.S. Gourmet, is the chef. However, things do not go well; Patrick is beating up the hat rack because it won't "give" him its hat, Mr. Krabs makes terrible food and says that he worked as a janitor on the Gourmet and was the head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea, and SpongeBob can't handle the copy of How To Become A Fancy Waiter in Less Than 20 Minutes that Squidward gave him. Squidward tells SpongeBob to clear his mind of "everything that doesn't have to do with fine dining and breathing". SpongeBob's mind, which is metaphorically portrayed as an office, is operated by smaller SpongeBobs. Their boss's assistant tells them that he's just got an order: Dump everything that isn't about fine dining. They begin to get rid of (most of) all documents, which represent SpongeBob's knowledge, until SpongeBob just stares into empty space and doesn't respond to anything.

Squidward runs outside and bumps into Squilliam, who is just about to enter. They both go inside, and see that the Krusty Krab has been transformed into a very fancy five-star restaurant. After sending all the customers to their tables, SpongeBob tells Squidward that he did all of this, and that he has tied up Patrick and Mr. Krabs in the kitchen. After his meal, Squilliam admits that he is impressed and asks SpongeBob what his name is. However, SpongeBob cannot remember his name, having discarded it along with everything else, and inside his mind, all of the little SpongeBobs are trying to find his name, which ultimately results in his brain snapping in half. SpongeBob goes insane, destroying the fancy restaurant environment and revealing the Krusty Krab for what it really is. Squilliam finds out that Squidward actually is a cashier, humiliating him. However, Squilliam then "admits" that he's also a cashier too before revealing that he was just kidding and that he is "filthy, stinkin' rich!" He and his crowd leave the restaurant to ride in his "balloon casino", leaving Squidward dejected and defeated once again, but not before Mr. Krabs plays him a sad song in the World's Smallest Violin, which annoys him.


Deleted scenes

Two deleted scenes are based on the episode:

  • There is a deleted scene with Squidward being one-upped by Squilliam at everything in life. This was cut in later airings for unknown reasons.
  • In the original airing Squidward had said "Lie, Squidward, lying always makes it better" (to himself). It was later changed to "Don’t lie. Lying always makes it worse". This was to make sure kids watching the episode, would be less tempted to lie.

Home video releases

  • SpongeBob SquarePants: SpongeBob Goes Prehistoric
  • SpongeBob SquarePants: Complete 3rd Season
  • SpongeBob SquarePants: The First 100 Episodes


  • When Squilliam says that he wants to come to the restaurant that night, Squidward (who had already said that it was a 5-Star Restaurant) could have said that they were booked up, as most 5-star restaurants call for reservations. However, Squillium could have been suspicious by this.
  • In the Bahasa Malaysia version of this episode, when SpongeBob greets the customer, he says "Your butt want to eat rice?.
  • While SpongeBob's mind is being cleared, one of the sheets being shredded was titled, "Spice Garden Tips." Interestingly, SpongeBob's spice garden was mentioned in the partner episode, "No Weenies Allowed."
  • The scene when Squidward tells SpongeBob to clear his mind might be a parody to the Total Recall scene.
  • When Squidward asks SpongeBob how he transformed the Krusty Krab, Squidward addresses SpongeBob by name. SpongeBob replies, as if he already knows his name. However, toward the end of the episode, when Squilliam asks him his name, SpongeBob's name is "thrown out" of his mind. This conundrum would put a major loophole in the entire storyline.
    • When Squilliam asks SpongeBob for his name, Squidward could have simply said to Squilliam "His name is SpongeBob SquarePants" or just told SpongeBob what his name is, so SpongeBob would not have destroyed the place. However, Squidward did not know that this would happen, so there is no way he could have prevented it.
  • When Squilliam "admits" he's a cashier, Mr. Krabs is wearing a tuxedo rather than the outfit he was wearing throughout the episode. This also happens at the very end. There is a possibility that SpongeBob dressed him up.

Cultural References

  • "Hommina hommina hommina" was one Ralph Kramden's catch phrasees in The Honeymooners.
  • The "The World's Smallest Violin" Mr. Krabs is playing might be a reference to the movie "Reservoir Dogs " when Mr. Pink is arguing about tipping the waitress, and Mr. pink says, "You know what this is? The worlds smallest violin playing just for the waitresses."


  • When Squidward encounters Squilliam he only has a few friends with him, when Squilliam says, "We should all come," he has a lot more friends.
  • When Squidward turns his head over to Squilliam he is coming to the left, when Squidward puts his hat in the bin, Squilliam is to the right.
  • When Squilliam arrives at Squidward's "five-star restaurant," it is nighttime. But at the end of the episode, after Squidward says, "WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE?!," it is daytime.
  • When Mr. Krabs is playing the world's smallest violin after the Krusty Krab reverts to its original self, his eye stalks are white instead of pale green.
  • Squidward tried to imagine Squilliam in his underwear, but neither he or Squilliam wears underwear, or even pants at all.
  • If a viewer looks closely, there are two Nathiels at same time.
  • Before Squilliam enters the restaurant, the windows of the Krusty Krab are visible, but inside, there is wallpaper covering the windows.
  • The "appetizer" destroys the door to the kitchen, but it is shown to be intact at the end of the episode.
  • SpongeBob knew nothing except a finedining and breathing, but managed to tie and gag Mr. Krabs and Patrick.
  • When Patrick and Krab are bound and gagged in back, Krab's legs arent tied and eyes are. But, when he comes from the kitchen, his eyes aren't tied and legs are.
  • Mr. Krabs slides instead of walking at the end.
  • Some of the people in Squilliam's group don't have bottom halves.
  • Dish Network accidentally lists this episode as "Squilllium Returns" adding an extra L.
  • When Patrick and Krab and bound and gagged in back, Patrick have a rope tied around his forehead, but when he comes out, there's not any rope.
  • When Krab comes out from the back, he has no arms. It is unlikely that his hands were tied behind his back, because before that, it shows that SpongeBob tied his hands on his stomach.
  • SpongeBob knew nothing except a nice lunch and breathing, but he somehow managed to bond and gag Krab and Patrick.
  • The "q" on Squidward's name tag is capitalized.

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